Manager as hostess (or host, as the case may be)

I was speaking with my manager about the progress we've made on some of the goals we set for ourselves and how to let the individuals in our wider team know about that progress. I made a comment about reflecting back to the individuals who had contributed, to give them a sense of the actions we had taken resulting from their comments. Reflecting back is pretty much in every lesson on listening and communication, after all.

But I started to think about the urge I have to pass on information, and I realized that some of it stems from the lessons I learned from my mom on how to be a great hostess for a party (be it dinner party, or cocktail party or house party). My mother regularly had parties when I was growing up. She, along with my stepfather, hosted an annual party with easily 150-200 people. There were neighbors, work friends, political contacts, community organizers, friends from long ago, business contacts, and everything in between. In addition to providing a great setting, great food, and great drink, my mom and stepfather worked very hard to make sure that each guest got some time with each of them, as hosts. But they also made sure to pay attention to the details, and then put guests in touch with each other to further the interests that each individual might have. In Tipping Point language, my mother was, and is, a connector (something I aspire to, but that's another post).

In my mind, that skill of connecting two people is a version of closing the loop, reflecting back, and being a good listener. When you find out that friend A likes to photograph gardens, and friend B really wants to get a framed photo of her garden, you put them in touch. When you find out that coworker Jane is really curious how a project went on that other product, and you know the lead of that other product, you put them in touch.

In much the same way, when you're a manager and your team members have asked for something, if you've either made it happen or worked with others to make progress, you need to close the loop and pass on the progress (both positive and negative results).

Whether it's putting two unrelated people in touch at a party, or relaying progress to team members, it's the actions taken based on comments from individuals that show you were listening. And really, in either case, it's the proper thing for a host or hostess to do!